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I have done a lot of thinking over the past week or so about those who are alone, or feel alone, over the holidays in particular. Some are alone because they have no family nearby or they have lost their family. Some are alone in their thoughts. While I have always had my family nearby, I have spent time feeling alone in my thoughts. You may be asking yourself why I am writing such a dark article the week before Christmas. This is not a cry for help but a thought that I feel needs to be shared and understood. It is those who are alone in a crowded room of family and friends that has been on my mind. Many years ago this was me. Once when I was in high school and once as a single adult I spent too much time in my own mind contemplating being alone. I have friends that have either attempted or committed suicide. I have counseled some who have considered and/or attempted suicide. What I want to share with you all today are my thoughts on what you and I can do to help those around us who are in that fragile state of mind. The things I will write about are universal in nature as you may never know about their state of mind. Loneliness, in my opinion and experience, is a major factor facing those in this state of mind. They feel that no one cares about them and that no one would even notice if they were gone. By being genuinely interested in the people around you goes a long way in helping others feel that they are not alone. This means actively listening to others and taking an interest in them. Remember the old saying, “People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Jesus cared for people and we, as His disciples, should be no different. Pain, again in my opinion and experience, is another major issue. The pain can come in both physical and emotional ways. Most times you may notice someone who is in physical pain but may not necessarily notice those in emotional pain. Again, knowing the people in your life goes very far in noticing who is in pain and who needs help. Are you there as a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board for those who are frustrated, a friend? Desperation is my final issue. Many are desperate for whatever it is that is troubling to end. All too many do not see beyond themselves and their own troubles to seek help as they feel that no one understands them. They may feel that they are the only ones that have ever gone through whatever it is they are going through. One of the ways in which we get to really know others is to share something of ourselves with them. If we keep the troubles God has seen us through to ourselves we will never help others. You have gone through what you have gone through so that you can help others through their times of hurt and pain (2 Cor 1:3-11). It is our responsibility as Christians to meet those around us where they are and share God’s love with them. Remember that someone loved you enough to share it with you. Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes 4:5-12, “There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. "For whom am I toiling," he asked, "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?" This too is meaningless— a miserable business! Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Are you a real friend? We all need to be real friends to those around us!!! Jay
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